Down-n-out
I started making gear several years ago. After daylight robbery outside a Lidl in Mataró and a loss of more than a $1000 worth of meticulously purchased camping gear, I decided to make my own based off others in the MYOG community with a few of my own design tweaks. I bought a cheap Singer Heavy Duty and way too much material as per usual with my projecting dreams. My fantasies of making always whisk me away and I found myself more than $3000 into a sewing project that I thought could be fun or more. I was going to design and make a sleeping bag like lots of other MYOG champions out there and I did it. I researched many different sights for materials, watched Dubber Designs’ excellent video, and got to it.
I sewed and hacked and sewed some more until I created an over-stitched masterpiece that should give me a lot of use over the next 10–20 years if I treat it right. It took me over 20 hours to finish and I will never forget moving all the furniture in my Barcelona apartment living room to stretch the material out with masking tape on the floor… and I mean to stretch it out, as I got carried away with making it just the perfect size and overstretched the material a bit. But I often agro over finesse when I learn new things. It was my first attempt, I knew there was a steep learning curve and it would ‘likely’ be the worst.
I waited almost a year to make my next attempt. With Covid everywhere, my roommates were trapped with me in our small apartment and I just couldn’t justify taking the space from them. However, I did have bigger plans… I wanted to make a work table to help me with the design, layout, and cutting process. It took up the whole room but gave me the much-needed space to layout my material and work without a lot of lower back pain. The table has since been cut down to the desk I am currently using to write this article on.
The second was for a girlfriend that offered to help me get my residency here in Spain and the relationship ended disastrously. The bag work went well enough and I made plenty of mistakes in both the bag and our relationship. The bag was sadly never made with love. We were together for our mutual survival of Covid rather than our incredible chemistry. For me, the bag was a learning experience as much as the relationship. It ended with her flinging pizza at the wall… twice. She is Italian/Argentinian after all… and choking me and threatening me… did I mention she was also drunk… I was eventually escorted out of our apartment by her nagging sister and the police. Women are still often seen as the victims in the eyes of the law here in Spain. The police only bothered to ask her if she was ok. Or if I had hit her. They couldn’t even take the time to hear my side of things despite me being the one assaulted. The last we spoke, she tried to blackmail me for my residency in Spain. No ill will but I hope to never hear from her again.
The next two bags were the start of a set of couples bags I made. I should have known better to mix friendship and sleeping bags, but I was happy to make them for free as long as they paid for supplies, which I already had plenty of. However, Kras, as I will call her, wanted different colors than the ones I had, so I told her I would order what she wanted. This disaster was partially my fault for not getting everything more laid out beforehand. I really mismanaged expectations on costs, but she just had to have her colors… To be honest they were the worst bags I’ve made. Some of the stitches were less than par and in the end, the boyfriend’s bag could have used more feathers. All said and done they got the bags and never paid. Hell, they didn’t even bother to send me photos of them using them. I get that they had also lost their dream of living in Barcelona at the time, but I suppose they should have just returned them. It hurts to have your work and friendship be of such little value to what you thought were friends. I had invited these people into my circle, to yoga, and any other way I could to help them find their place in Barcelona. Call it fate or whatever you like but I made the mistake and realized the quality of all of it was all in the details.
The next two were for some amazing people in my life. Aneesh and Shannon. I love you guys and always will. Aneesh and Shannon’s bags turned out to be pretty fantastic, however, with a few design flaws that I fixed after, and some other learning experiences. But flaws can also be our strengths, and the fact that Aneesh and I remain friends despite these flaws is proof that the details don’t always have to be perfect. The truth is, I felt the love while making these two bags, and knew that everything would turn out well. I know, I mixed the old money and friends, but these are some friends I would sleep with… or get naked in the pool for a deep conversation with. All-in-all the bags came out amazing and it felt good that they both seem to appreciate my work.
This brings me to the seventh bag, which I made for my love of mine. Tai is a person that brings out the crazy in me. I always enjoy my time with her. Our back-and-forth banter is always fun and we always find a way to make an adventure of things… and almost always in some naked way. In truth, this bag was easy to make with all the love I felt, much like how easy it is to be around her when I feel the love she gives to me. Her bag is full of love and I cherish the idea that wherever her wandering spirit takes her, I can somehow be a part of it.
The final bag… el saco octavo, was also for a love of mine, Johanna. She is one of the sweetest, most genuine, and caring people I have ever met. Where she got these traits leaves me at a loss, but I am so profoundly glad I have had the opportunity to get to know her that I had to give her one of these prized possessions. This bag was my magnum opus of sleeping bags. It has more feathers than any other bag I made. As she prepares to leave for the north of Norway, I hope she can find a way to stay warm and experience the natural beauty it has to offer. The sewing was as close to perfect as I am likely to ever get. It was also the first bag to not even break a needle. Some of the first bags were practically pin cushions and closed-off frustrations, but not this one. It was made with care and patience. Much like the patience that Johanna instills in me when we are together. Johanna is, and will always be, one of the greatest loves of my life. She calms the wild in me and loves me purely as can be.
Each bag a story, each an ending suiting to the task. I started this journey with sour grapes and turned them into fine wine. The work was well worth the steep price of entry. I have learned a lot about myself and my relationships. In truth, my life and friendships have a way of reciprocity. I love to give when I have, but maybe somewhere deep down, I give what I feel for the person. I am not a great faker, and a terrible liar to boot. My life is a filter I suppose. The people I love are likely to know it from my deeds. I make time to help people and do thoughtful things for those I love. I may not have much. But what I do have I hope to give before it’s gone. I may never make another sleeping bag. The table I designed has now been modified into a desk. But just because I am out of the bag making business, doesn’t mean I am down-n-out.
